


In the land of the thousand winters

by aboutmikasa (Coco_c)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Inspired by Frozen (2013), Shiganshina Trio, Sina Rose and Maria, woman knight Mikasa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-05-24 14:49:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6157123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coco_c/pseuds/aboutmikasa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sina had punished humans with an eternal winter but they refuse to end their fraternal war. Three inseparable friends –Eren, Mikasa and Armin– joined the Explorers Guard, protecting Queen Historia and fighting the Winter Shadows, the winter’s soul craving monsters. When Eren turned into one of those creatures, he unintentionally hurt Mikasa and ran away. Then, Mikasa and Armin traveled through the infested forest to find him, with the help of the humanity’s strongest knight, a cocky and arrogant horse whisperer, a mischievous archer and an eccentric magician. Can they find Eren and fulfill Sina, Rose and Maria’s prophecy? Would Sina forgive humankind? What’s the secret hidden behind Mikasa’s wrist bandages? Why Rose keeps tying Mikasa’s and Levi’s destiny?</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the land of the thousand winters

**_Prologue – Ab origine_ **

* * *

 

_In the beginning of the times, three sisters ruled the world, bringing a delicate equilibrium between cold and heat, night and day, heaven and hell. Ancient stories said the two suns in the sky were the eyes of the always-vigilant Sina, who observed humans in their everyday. When she closed her eyes, night came and the moonlight filled the land._

_Sina, the almighty goddess of winter, held life and death in her hands; humans feared the powerful and vindictive divinity who never forgave. She had two sisters, Rose and Maria. Maria, the youngest sister and the goddess of light, was the source of heat in the world; she was a kind and loving deity who smiled at the presence of humans. Between them was Rose, the shy and stubborn goddess of change, always balancing the power of her sisters._

_For centuries, humans worshiped and respected their goddesses’ rules. Four big clans governed humans and minor groups and tribes, each of one named in honor of the changes in the sky and earth: Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter. Yet, humans always wanted more and the clans broke their alliance and started a ruthless war, ignoring Sina’s anger and Maria’s calls for peace. The Winter clan had Sina’s protection and tried over and over to negotiate peace with the other clans ad a new alliance. One day, the heads of the clans agreed to meet and settled a reunion in Sina’s temple, in the Winter clan’s territory. When the day arrived, soldiers trapped the leaders of the Winter clan and destroyed the temple, killing them all before razing the Winter villages to ashes._

_Clouds gathered in the sky and thunders fell with the rage of Sina. In her anger, she wanted to annihilate humankind, guilty or innocent were the same. Maria cried and pleaded, imploring for mercy, but nothing reached Sina’s frozen and full of sadness heart. The sky turned gray and a sudden blizzard ended the warm weather of summer; the soldiers in the Winter clan’s territory couldn’t move, their bones turning to ice. A cold death was spreading her waive over the land._

_Maria’s unflagging love prostrated her under her sister’s feet, and Rose finally spoke, bargaining with Sina; the goddess of winter appeased her rage, but she couldn’t forgive humans. Her anger wouldn’t be placated so easily. A tar and colder than ice darkness filled every corner in the world and the voice of Sina rumbled in the sky, cursing humankind with a never-ending winter and the hunting of their kind. From the remains of the Winter clan, the Winter Shadows arose; soul-craving monsters, haunting the forest until the spring arrive._

_Thousand winters followed by thousand more, until humans reach balance and wellness spread from the fountain of life; the black will turn red and what is dead will arise,  allowing the change in the world._

 

 

**i -  Sic infit**

* * *

 

Armin had told them that story many times since they were children, when they had time before sleep. Back, when finding food and a not-too-cold place to stay were their only problems. Mikasa always asked him and never understood why, but every time she was too conscious of the mark under the bandages in her wrist.

The girl slowed her footsteps, catching her breath and wondering why this from all days, memories rushed over her mind, stealing away the calm she needed.

The cold numbed her body, but her hand grabbed her wrist as if something burned her, like the day her mother tattooed her. It wasn’t a deep pain or a never experienced one, she noticed the odd sensation for the first time the day she arrived to the castle for her training, after entering the military. For the past two years, it almost never happened; lately it occurred more often, though. Mikasa hated the feeling, she could bear the pain, but something deeper settled in her heart and soul when her mark claimed her attention.

_Goddesses and omens…_

Why was she thinking about the never-ending winter story?

As she walked next to a window a frozen breeze rushed down the hall, sending a shiver over her skin and the red scarf’s knight exhaled, clearing her thoughts. She hadn’t time for fantasies and bedtime stories.

It had been a long night and she moved faster, worried for Eren.

The three of them enlisted in the Explorers Guard six years ago and now she was one the captains of the Dark Knights, the Queen Historia’s elite force; a fearsome knight and soldiers acknowledged her fierceness and bravery. They fought in the war, the same in Armin’s story. Eren wished it was true and one day the winter would end, but she couldn’t afford such dreams. No, all Mikasa wanted was their safety and followed them to the army for the same reason. Once she indulged another dream, yet, the brave and stoic knight soon learned her foolishness —too soon.

In the middle of war, she needed a clear mind to achieve her goal, to protect her family. The winter existed, the war was there, just like the Winter Shadows, and no goddess would have mercy on them. If they wanted to survive, they had to fight.

She knew the events of the past two days were the beginning of a battle and the biggest test of their lives. Anything else mattered, the proud and young Captain understood that too well and dismissed the distracting thoughts and strange sensations; her only goal had been the safety of her little family. They would be fine as far as they remain together. When they returned to the castle, the three agreed to meet at Eren’s chambers before dawn. Moving fast and fleeing that night could be their only chance to save Eren’s life.

The castle shadows moved with her, accompanying her rush and setting a disquieting atmosphere.  Mikasa could be confused with a ghost, as she was too silent and agile, walking with a feline grace while mixing with the darkness and hiding from the scattered light. The absolute black from her attire helped her, but something about her seemed ethereal, almost eerie.

Mikasa knew every corner in the castle and she choosing that particular aisle wasn’t an accident even if the dark knight dind’t walk there fully aware of her reasons. Her heart jumped as she passed next to Erwin’s chambers and for one instant Mikasa second-guessed the course of their actions, and nearly knocking at his door. She trusted him. For years, she had followed his orders without questioning and deep in her heart, she saw her actions to come as a betrayal to her vows and duties. A betrayal to the man who promoted her to captain and treated her with consideration and respect.

However, Erwin was Queen Historia’s High Constable, and she knew too well to restrain her hand. If he had to choose, it wouldn’t be them. Greater good meant great sacrifices and she couldn’t afford this one.

She could trust him her life, not Eren’s.

They needed to act fast; her instincts alerted her in the afternoon about Erwin’s suspicions. The way he stared at the three of them as soon as they arrived to the castle wasn’t a simple coincidence; that man had a dangerous mind and he didn’t buy the story behind her wounds and Eren’s condition. Sometimes she wondered if Erwin read minds. Thankfully, her —publicly discussed— cold and detached attitude towards anything besides Armin and Eren’s was a blessing in disguise; Erwin suspected something _else_ happened in the woods, but a doubt was good enough as far as it gave them time.

The red-scarf knight stood in front of his door, saluting to her superior as a last sign of respect, and moved in search of her friends and family.

With every step, she moved farther away from her duties, focused on Eren and the prior events.

The day before, whilst they were returning from a mission, a fierce storm split the formation forcing them into the woods. Winter Shadows trapped them and the mayhem separated the three of them from the rest of Captain Mikasa’s squad. Nothing but chaos and a white freezing death surround them. None of them said a word, but they felt something strange, almost like a presence moving with the winds and for one second, the suns brighten light felt more than warm. Eren fixed his gaze to nowhere in that exact moment. The chills over her body weren’t the normal effect of the cold and Mikasa straighten her posture, steadying her legs and reclaiming her stoicism.

Armin pointed some kind of structure at their backs; the snow covering them made difficult to follow the lines of the construction, but it looked like the remains of an old building. The violent force of a raising wind forced their steps into different directions and Mikasa fought back, trying to stay at their side, but something pulled her. Something, like a hand, grabbing her waist and taking her away from Eren —on purpose. Mikasa watched their arms stretching out, trying to reach each other’s hands while Eren called her name in despair.

When the unwanted motion stopped, she was in the floor; the girl could swore the same force pulling her away, put her there with care. The weird sensation made her open her eyes searching and finding nothing but winds and snow. Eren and Armin were in the middle of the ruins, both sharing a puzzled expression. Standing above and away, the girl noticed the pattern in the walls and a structure that resembled an altar. They were at the base of the cliff, with the high hill and a thick line of trees trapping them.

When they called their horses, Mikasa wished the animals moved faster but the tremor of upcoming steps and the sudden silence in the woods announced the Winter Shadows and a new fight. Mikasa moved trying to reach Armin and Eren, feeling anxious until her hands brandished her swords. Moving through deep snow slowed her considerably and the creatures surrounded them before the girl neared the distance between her and her friends. Just like that, the Winter Shadows charged towards them and Mikasa fought back, living aside her fears and acting with the bloody nature of the Captains of the Dark Knights.

The crimson of her scarf contrasted with the snow and her black uniform.

Killing the Winter Shadows was hard, and their attack merciless. Mikasa learned to decapitate them as the most effective way; their bodies fell down and the creatures seemed to explode in light. The knights needed freedom in their movements and their uniforms allowed that and more. She heard the rumors about the mysterious properties of their armors and saw the magicians working with the blacksmiths, forging the blades of their swords and graving the “ _semper vigilans_ ” motif of the Explorers. The crucible steel in their swords was so pure and the mix of iron and carbon so perfect that no one had stronger swords than The Explorers Guard —or more effective weapons against the human’s predators.

She tested, once again, the sharp of her two-edged blades in the ethereal form of the Winter Shadows. One by one, the creatures fell and Mikasa moved, implacable and ruthless.

The light leather corselet armor allowed fast movements and the stylized brigandine shaping their bodies, gave her flexibility. The reinforced vambraces acted as shields and the fitted gloves gave support for the swords, while the gorget with the hood and the mask protected her face. A half-breastplate with a double back mount held her swords; she used two swords, even if was more common a single one. The wool shirt and fitted trousers under the brigandine, and the thick cloak maintained the warm, while the long boots helped them with the snow.

The fierce of her eyes popped up as the rest of her face remained hidden.

Mikasa waved her swords in a deadly dance but the monsters outnumbered and their attack did not decrease. Her white and pristine horse followed her orders. It seemed as the animal read her mind; a logical outcome considering the beast didn’t allow anyone but her to ride it, and their bond strengthened after two years fighting, defeating and protecting. Not everyone could brag about the same fortune and six creatures took down Armin’s horse, trapping him against the riff; she watched at Eren running to help Armin. Mikasa was too far from them and dealing with her own share of monsters.

In one second their lives changed. The air didn’t reach her lungs as one of them hit Eren and moved over him, draining his _vis vitae_.

She had watched so many times the same scene, those creatures absorbing humans’ vital energy and leaving an empty shell behind. Falling for a sword was an honorable way of dying; ending with the claws of a Winter Shadow in your flesh while a lifeless jaw drained your humanity was the cruelest possible death. Right in front of her eyes, her worst fear came true and the world stopped, falling to pieces around her. Mikasa could slay every Winter Shadow, yet her anger would do nothing but conceal the infinite despair in her heart.

Mikasa had lost her family, one by one, by a merciless fate and she rebuilt her life with the single purpose to protect the two young men fighting at her side. Eren brought her back to life when she had nothing left, when an unbearable cold paralyzed her; he gave her hope, a new family, support and the courage to fight. Without him, she was lost in a hopeless land, bleaker than hell. She kept moving until she reached Armin’s position, and side by side, they faced the iced and bluish creatures. When more monsters drew near, Armin and Mikasa shared a deep and meaningful gaze.

She held Armin as a last protective manner when a violent and raging roar resonated. Mikasa got goosebumps all over her body and she bet the charged air around them scared the very same Winter Shadows. A cold burning wind was hitting them and she covered Armin with her cloak. She kept her eyes closed, but the woman knight felt Armin craning over her shoulder. Her free hand tightened the sword, ready to fight.

A beaming form approached and she squeezed her eyes for a moment, trying to understand and be sure her eyes didn’t lie. It was until Armin muttered, “Eren”, with an expression as perplexed as hers, that she reacted, —understood was a different story. Eren resembled a Winter Shadow and he attacked the creatures in an outburst of rage. He held more power than any Winter Shadow she had fought before and as he took the energy of them, he became stronger and stronger and the blue light enveloping him turning bluer and brighter.

As he destroyed the last Winter Shadow, Eren fixed his dreadful stare on Armin and Mikasa. His black uniform seemed white but the green of his eyes weren’t blue as the Winter Shadows’. She would recognize those emerald eyes anywhere; yet, Eren’s enraged state didn’t appease, not even with them.

While loosening the leather mask over her mouth and dropping her swords, she stepped forward in subtle and steady motion. Armin tried to dissuade her but she moved with her hands up, showing to Eren she wasn’t a thread. Mikasa refused to believe Eren didn’t recognize them. He stood in attack position, as if he was waiting for her; black and white facing each other, moving around each other. The whole situation was unreadable but Armin sensed danger, still she didn’t listen to him, too eager to help Eren. When she closed the distance between them, Eren threw a punch to her head, smashing a tree with massive force as she launched her body away from him, avoiding the impact. Mikasa fell against a rock wounding her head and most probably braking one or two ribs.

If something human remained inside Eren, her blood and injured expression, or the shouting of his name coming from Armin, shook it or awoke it or something, because the light faded and he dropped senseless to the ground. The white uniform recovered the distinctive black of the Explorers. A few minutes later, he reacted and seemed normal, no light coming from his body, no white shadowy form, no guttural noises instead of his voice and words. Any visible sign of the unnatural and strange events lingered; however, his distress and repulsion had no end.

None of them had answers or leads, as far as they knew Winter Shadows didn’t turn humans; those creatures drained the life of their victims, the _vis vitae_ of humans, leaving nothing where there was life. She saw a bigger fear growing in Eren’s eyes, a grievous sorrow shattering his soul. His refusing-to-see-her gaze told her the injuries he caused were the cause, and she tried to hide her physical pain from him and used her hair to cover the cut below her right eye.

The question lingering in the air was the obvious one. _Would he shift again?_

Mikasa adjusted her cloak and by habit, she traced the embroidery of her insignia; the symbol she wore with pride for six years as member of the Explorers Guard, the wings of freedom. The day they took the vows, they swore to protect the kingdom, follow orders and exterminate Winter Shadows and any threat to peace and humankind. As they were chose for the Dark Knights, Mikasa pleaded loyalty to the young Queen Historia, and when Erwin promoted her to Captain, he gave her his trust. The heavy sigh she exhaled came from the depth of her existence.

Who would understand Eren wasn’t a menace?

Who would believe he was human and no monster?

Would her brothers and sisters take him as one of their own?

They were heading to the core of government, a place she had considered a safe harbor in the middle of storms and chaos. If Erwin or anyone else found the truth, Eren’s life would be in danger. The hefty silence led her to no mistake; they shared the same thoughts and fears.

Eren’s silence pained her; he seemed devastated and drowning in his thoughts. When she moved next to him, he smiled at her with sadness and not even once looked at her face.

Armin spoke for them and they agreed to flee, but in this ice-covered land, they needed a plan. Venturing out of the cities and moving between forest without weapons, provisions or a destiny was stupid and a death sentence; so, they needed to go to the castle. Besides, Mikasa had official communicates to bring to Erwin; once more her hands groped the symbol over her heart, thoughts swirling in her head and dizziness overwhelming her. She wouldn’t ever understand the infuriating timing of her memories, so, she tightened the reins in her left hand and covered her face with the secure warm of her red scarf. A sudden chill running down her spine returned her head to their present predicament. Historia’s castle never looked so distant and frightening and she knew it wasn’t their home anymore.

Erwin’s eyes unsettled her stomach, and attending meetings sickened her. Since she got her promotion, her duties included insufferable meetings; at the beginning, Mikasa didn’t understand politics, now, she hated them. With the madness in her head, she couldn’t care less about the Fall clan’s Minister claiming of precedence, or the inclusion of the Military Police in the alliance. Moreover, her commander’s piercing and unwavering stare confused her; somehow, it seemed as he had expected strange news came flying through the window, and Mikasa was the raven who should bring them.

The man asked a simple question, “ _Did you see something odd in the forest?_ ” She wanted to ask if magicians, never-ending winters, and soul’s craving monsters were odd enough; instead, she looked at him, denying with her head. His eyes stayed a second longer and Mikasa stood deadpanned as usual, but she knew something remained unspoken.

They needed to go that night and that was what they planned to do as soon as they could get supplies and weapons. _Move forward and never look back_ … Armin’s words had a powerful effect over her.

Finally, the hour arrived and she entered Eren’s quarter to find the grieving and troubled figure of Armin, sitting on the bed. He was leaning forward with his head dropped in his hands, a crumpled paper at his feet. Her eyes swept the room, looking for someone she knew wasn’t there. As reflex, she grabbed the scarf but for the first time since Eren put it around her, the soft and usually warm cloth didn’t comfort her. They stayed quiet, staring at each other. Armin saw her; she seemed frail and scared for a brief moment, enough to reconcile her thoughts. Finding her determination, the girl agreed with whatever she read in his eyes.

“Do you have the food?” Mikasa asked.

Armin looked at her with a feeling resembling a vague hope, and nodded.

“Do you have weapons?” His voice waived with inquietude and trepidation, but he stood and smiled at her, trying so hard to be brave.

“We need to figure where he’s going.”

Armin listened to her and his mind worked faster than ever, thinking, searching and understanding. After a long pause, he opened his eyes and she waited for his thoughts.

“Do you remember the never-ending winter’s story?”

“Yes. What about it?”

“I need a book!”

Mikasa followed him without questions and waited while he read. It didn’t take too long.

“Mikasa, I need you to believe me…” He said, holding tight a book against his chest.

“I do.” _I always do_ , she told him with her eyes and he felt braver.

“I think Eren’s going to Rose’s fountain.”

“That’s just a story.”

“Maybe it is; still, Winter Shadows exist and they shouldn’t turn people and… you can’t deny _something_ happened yesterday, and I’m not talking about Eren shifting. I know you felt it too and you saw the ruins and the altar. Just listen to me, I don’t know but maybe it’s time to believe the unbelievable; we know Eren does. He believes, Mikasa, and the story says Rose is the only one who can change what has been turned.”

“Let’s say it’s possible goddess exist —even if we know it’s not—; still… even if he thinks Rose, Sina and Maria are real, how can we know where he’s going?”

“Mikasa, only one of the Rose’s fountains remained…”

She covered her mouth with her hand, shivering. If Armin was right, Eren was going to the Winter forests, a place from which no one returns. Exhaling to control herself she looked at him and nodded in agreement. A part of her wanted to ask him to stay safe in the castle but he wouldn’t stay behind, and the only way they could succeed —or survive—, was sticking together, as always.

They needed to go while the soldiers were changing shifts, taking advantage of the slightly confusing instructions she arranged to be sure nobody pay attention to their escape.

With no time to write an explanation for Erwin and unable to just disappear, Mikasa took off the embroidered symbol of her uniform, putting it where the Head of Cavalry could find it. A bitter smile crossed her face. Maybe now she would understand why people left with no farewells.

The castle was a distant shadow when they finally rode their horses. Armin wanted to wait enough to avoid unwanted attention; even so, they couldn’t wait more because a storm was forming in the horizon. Her heart’s palpitations resembled their horses galloping, but she had complete control of herself at last.

Danger waited for them, however, Armin was with her and they would find Eren. 

 

 

**ii -  Nomen est omen**

* * *

 

“The sky has the answers. Don’t you think?”

She didn’t get a reply and wasn’t expecting one.

A strange silver receptacle over table, filled with water reflected the starry night. The woman twirled, moving different and non-less stranger objects from the room to the balcony. Her hair tied in a messy ponytail and the glasses on her face magnifying her brown irises; a smart and over-excited aura imposed her authority on the matter. For two days, she had been studying the stars, waiting for this night and this exact moment. She leant, thrilled for the omen written in the stars and how they showed a unique moment every hundred years. 

“Can you see it? The moon’s light isn’t as bright as it should be, just like one hundred years ago and one hundred years before that; the manuscript says it. From this day to one month, we’ll have what should be vernal equinox; the change the elder magicians believed would allow the end of the winter. Come here!”

“It’s fucking cold and I have better things to do.” A short and not impressed man spoke and stayed still, not even flinching at her requests; arms crossed over his chest.

“Like what?”

“Take a dump.”

She handed him a parchment, ignoring his words, as she always did when her excitement overwhelmed her. Her entire attention turned to the receptacle and even when she kept complaining, the man remained leaning against the wall. A thin cape of ice was forming over the water and she took a flask with salt and a cup with herbs residues. After a brief moment of silence, she spelled unintelligible words and blew ashes. The black flower in her hand brightened and set on fire; then, the ice showed the council of clans and the young and beautiful Queen, the daughter of Spring and heir of Maria, taking over the kingdom and overthrowing her father. In a second and blurred vision, she saw a Winter Shadow protecting Queen Historia and five people fighting at his side. A perfect circle.

“Hey, Levi?”

“No.”

“I haven’t said anything yet.”

“«Help me find more shitty flowers», right? I don’t intend to help you with such a hassle.”

“But, we need more black hollyhocks.”

“Are you crazy shitty-eyes? Don’t answer. Getting those was damn impossible;  _you_  waste them and  _you_  need them.”

“I don’t waste them, it’s magic; if you come here and take a look you would understand why they are so useful…” She explained as the most obvious reason, forgetting she had an impossible audience.

“I don’t care about your tricks, Hange.”

“We need to find out who this man is and why he looks like a Winter Shadow. Besides, today is the third time I’ve seen a captain of the Dark Knights. At least it’s a knight and uses the Explorers Guard Armor with the Dark Knights corselet pattern, exactly like yours. Yet I can’t have a good image; the first time I thought it was you, but you never wear red.”

“What?”

He moved and stared at the silver spectacle Hanji used, finding the silhouette wearing a distinctive red cloth around the neck. The black cloak covered its frame from head to toe and the figure fought with two swords dancing in the air; annoying easiness in the knight’s movements, too arrogant and too close to his own technique for Levi’s taste.

“This vision shows what happened or will happen?” Levi asked.

“I thought you didn’t care about my tricks.” She tilted her head and offered a cunning smile, but the glare he sent made her avert her eyes, returning to the vision. “Both, and what could be, but that one is tricky. I think this could happen.”

“So, you don’t know.”

Hanji rolled her eyes, they had had the same discussion since forever and he claimed he didn’t trust magicians or believed in them but helped her regardless and took her advices.

“I think it’s a woman, don’t you?” The magician said, fixing her glasses and squinting.  “I believed Dark Knights wear black and black over black and blacker, for the sake of the name; but that’s a nice touch of color with a dramatic effect. You should try it…” She said before taking a moment as if she needed her mouth caught her thoughts. “Levi, did you meet a woman knight with a red scarf?”

“No.” He made a long pause, moving away from the vision, and as he got to the door, Levi spoke again but didn’t look back. “I’m leaving tomorrow; if I cross paths with those damn flowers I’ll bring them when I return, but I’m not making promises.“

Hanji stared at the vacant space the former Field Marshal of the Dark Knights occupied moments ago, and muttered her own answer, “So, he did.”

They’d met for a long time, since his years in the Explorers Guard; nonetheless, Levi never talked about his past, no matter how much Hanji pestered him, asking for details. Finding crumbs amused her, as much as his avoidance. Perhaps her own behavior helped her to understand him; people said magicians were lunatics and used similar words for her, still, even between them, she never fit. The magician empathized with the quiet, stoic and bad-mouthed man; his valuable skills finding the rare ingredients she needed in her occupation, and his fearless approach while dealing with the Winter Shadows —and other unwelcomed specimens— were a bonus.

The knight without a past was a mystery, not a glamorous one though.

The fading imaged changed once more and she saw Rose’s fountain and the red scarf knight, Levi standing at her side, he had a white uniform. Usually, she watched Sina’s temple but Rose’s fountain gave her an adrenaline rush. As every other magician, Hanji had a special predilection for Rose, and when the image disappeared, she felt as if the evasive goddess was telling her something.

 

 

**iii -  Luctor, non mergor**

* * *

 

 

Three days before their flee they hadn’t found Eren and by the time they reached the city of Trost, the whiteouts and blizzard winds worsened, with snow blocking the roads.

Armin guessed Erwin would be trying to understand why one of his Captains and two more elite knights deserted in the middle of the night. If Mikasa thought the same, her face didn’t show it. Erwin couldn’t know about Eren’s recent condition but with the meeting of Queen Historia’s government and the council of clans approaching, the blond knight feared the High Constable could believe they were plotting with the enemies of Historia. In any case, desertion was a capital offense and they had to avoid checkpoints and garrisons.

Without the storm, they would be traveling faster, but now they had to reconsider their plan and find a new path to Karanase’s fields. A soft and deep layer of snow covered the mountain’s roads, and the winds shook the horses, making impossible moving forward; he explained to Mikasa why stopping was their only option. They needed to find refuge. Few things challenged Armin more than Mikasa’s stubbornness, and he explained and explained to her the danger of forcing their beasts in such weather until she compelled to his request; however, she did it with profound reluctance. Even if his travel companion remained silent, he felt her uneasiness; if they need shelter, Eren should need one too. Both asked for a moment of peace and safety for their friend.

When they entered the city, Mikasa gave him a modest cape, less warming than their cloak; the last thing they wanted was curious eyes asking why two Explorer’s knights traveled alone in the middle of the storm.

Sitting in a corner of an old and dirty tavern, Armin and Mikasa hid their faces; many more did a similar thing and that helped them to go unnoticed. Trost was a relatively important place, but on the outskirts of the city, anonymous travelers, bandits, lowlifes, harlots and worse gathered. Talking about worst, Armin saw Mikasa tensing her frame when a party of six sat across the room.

“Pigs.” She said, or so he supposed because she moved her lips, forming silent words; also for the grimace on her face.

As the war intensified, some cities hired men; most of them had belonged to the army. Years ago, they formed the Military Police, a pseudo branch of Queen Historia’s army, but everybody knew they didn’t follow her orders, nor sympathized with Historia’s Alliance or the Queen’s call for peace. In Trost the Military Police followed Lord Zackly’s orders and most of the time, they ignored people or abused their power. Mikasa almost never faced them, they didn’t go to war; nonetheless she had reasons to hate them.

Mikasa didn’t belong to any of the clans. Many people born out of the Spring, Summer and Fall heritage, still they belonged to a minor clan or group. It wasn’t her case, she was the last of her kind; an outcast between outcasts. Her mother and father died because of that and the Military Police let their murders escape and some of them almost sold her. She was there thanks to Eren and his determination, thanks to Erwin who took the three of them under his protection…

Mikasa put away the map and urged Armin to finish his beer. Armin disliked alcoholic concoctions but asking hot cocoa in that kind of place wasn’t a smart idea, so he settled for beer.

“Mikasa, did you hear me?”

“I’m not sure it’s good idea, Armin. We don’t know him.”

“Eren and I have talked to him before, a few times, he’s not that bad of a guy and he can help us.” Armin lowered his voice until it came as a whisper. “He’s a horse whisperer. The mountain’s roads are dangerous and we can’t take any risks or more delays.”

She didn’t want to include a stranger, Armin could tell, but remembering the time they lost for the storm helped his arguments; his whole life he had used Eren as a last resort with her, and this time worked as well.

“It’s your call, I trust your decisions. When will we meet him?”

“He’s here, but we agreed to meet later, at the stables.”

His eyes pointed a blond man with a weird haircut and a cocky and arrogant attitude; said guy talked with the barmaid and played cards with some others, including a Military Police man. Mikasa nodded and resumed her silence, giving time to Armin for his own thoughts and fears.

The quiet woman in front of him stared at the window.

As the raging winds of the blizzard blew, flurries drifted through the air; the whiteout made impossible to see properly. They needed the suns light and the pass in the mountain, staying away of the forest. Their only option was settling down inside the tavern, waiting for the blizzard to subside before heading out into the mountain.

The voices became louder and as a reflex, both caressed the swords inside their capes, hoping not to use them and remain unnoticed.

“Let’s go.”

Armin recognized the authoritative voice Mikasa used when something was going bad, her captain’s voice.

The scatterbrained barmaid spilled what resembled soup over a drunken military police and the man grabbed her arm, screaming and forcing her to spin around; he raised his hand to slap her and two figures moved as impulse. Mikasa stopped herself as the cocky guy —the one they were talking about— grabbed the man’s arm in the air before punching him with all his might on the bridge of his nose; the man staggered backwards.

As if things weren’t bad enough, one hidden card flew from the cocky guy’s sleeve and Mikasa cursed, taking defensive position. The rest of the military police raised their swords against him, and Mikasa noticed she was, maybe not so unwillingly, in the middle of the fight.  Two of them approached to her with threatening expression, whilst the one to blame for the ruckus —and their ticket to the mountain—, delivered untrained punches.

She didn’t have time for this.

A tall and disgusting pig lunged at her, and Mikasa threw up her forearms blocking the attack and hit him with her vambrace; as he tried to punch her again, she rolled her hand under the man’s wrist, pulling him backward and down. Then, the dark knight smashed her elbow in the soft spot high in his temple. Her immutable attire remain spotless, her face still well hid under the hood. Undaunted as usual, something awoke inside of her, the cold-blooded and murdered instinct that had helped her in battle. Armin stood at her side, a line of blood coming from his nose after defeating a heavy one, and she nodded proud of him.

The rumble of rushed feet claimed her attention and two more man came for them. They crossed gazes and she agreed with him, spinning to face the men at their backs. She kicked the table with her leg, hitting them in the guts and sending them backwards; then, Armin took a tray and hit their heads, knocking them out.

She led their way out when Armin pointed the scene at their left. They guy who started the fight punched and kicked two men; she shrugged with cold indifference and kept walking towards the door but Armin stopped her again. He couldn’t see her face but felt her annoyance, still she moved to help. Mikasa wanted to finish the unnecessary fight as soon as possible and used the dirty tricks she had learned; she pushed one man’s leg and he fell to the right. When the man tried to stand, she kicked his groin fast and hard, making Armin frown, a bit sympathetic with the man and the possible end of his offspring.

They hadn’t notice another police entering the tavern, and Mikasa reacted when an arrow passed close to her hood, landing in the soldier’s arm and nailing his sleeve to the wall. The barmaid waived with the bow in her hands and Mikasa hit the man, leaving him senseless.

“Thank you, sir.” The cheating horse-whisperer said before running to the door, but recoiled pale and apologetic. A dozen of military police were running to the tavern.

“Quick! This way.”

The barmaid went through a false door under the bar; the other guy and Armin followed her, with Mikasa behind them, one sword in her hands. They blocked the door and ran through a corridor. A blinding white mist and brutal winds received them outside the tavern; the girl took them to the stables.

The gale scared the animals and not even Mikasa’s white horse calmed down.

The unknown man spoke aloud and moved towards the horses. “Which ones are yours?”

Armin took their horse reins, and the guy took two random more and talked with the animals; little by little the animals quieted down.

“A horse whisperer!” Armin almost shouted and his bright blue eyes showed the deepest thoughts in his head. “So it’s truth, you’re a horse trainer, a magician. Do you heal animals too?”

“I’m not!” He claimed as if Armin accused him of a crime or worst. “I just do the healing part, okay. My name is Jean… so, just don’t scream magician.”

“Okay… As we talked, we need you to come with us. A person with your _talent_ will be a great help in our travel.”

“I’m not sure I’m interested, though.” Jean talked without breaking eye contact with the horses.

A few steps away, Mikasa and the barmaid observed them; the first one with increasing haste, the second one still shaking for the adrenaline. The girl tried to see Mikasa’s face under the hood and figure out if she could trust them. They were knights, not regular soldiers or people, regardless their modest clothes she had seen knights fighting before, no one like the person at her side. When the blond and shorter man took off his cape out, retrieving a black cloak, the barmaid confirmed her suspicions.

“May I go with you, Sir? I can’t go back after shooting them an arrow and if you’ll travel through the mountain I can help.” The girl asked to Mikasa with puppy eyes, but she had no answer.

Mikasa focused her whole attention in Armin and his efforts convincing Jean. Armin didn’t notice Mikasa grabbing his cloak until she moved with him to the other side of the stable, making sure the other two didn’t hear them talk.

“He’s a troublemaker.” Mikasa whispered and raised an eyebrow.

“We need him.” He noticed her disbelief and took her hand. “Mikasa, he’s a horse whisperer. Don’t you see? We can’t wait until the storm is over, and he… Mikasa, he can help us in the mountain. After that, we can separate ways if that’s what do you want.”

A soft voice interrupted them and they watched the girl standing next to them.

“Sorry to barge in, but maybe you and your friend want to move faster. You know, they can find the door and us.” Mikasa fixed her eyes on the barmaid, the girl seemed dependable and her aim with the bow was outstanding, if what she did in the tavern wasn’t an accident.

Armin spoke again to Jean. “We can pay you double.”

“I’m sorry, I told you I’m not…”

Jean’s eyes followed the movements of Mikasa while she took off her hood. She shook her head and her hair seemed to dance in Jean’s eyes. He had never seen someone as beautiful as her and gasped in complete stupefaction. Not even the end of winter would have a bigger effect on him, yet, she didn’t notice.

“So? Are you coming?” Mikasa was mounting her horse and adjusting her black cloak before throwing the cape to the girl. “Jean? We don’t have all night.”

“You’re a woman…” He muttered astonished; his confidence drained at her sight. “… hmm… I mean, yes I can help you.”

“We have a deal then.” She fixed her eyes on the other person; the girl took a bag of arrows from a hole in the wall. “We can take you to next city… What’s your name?”

“Sasha. And thank you for the cape.”

Armin watched their new companions, wondering how they doubled their party. Perhaps they didn’t know them, but it felt right in an peculiar way. He hopped Mikasa would understand and cooperate. They needed help even if his beloved and hard-headed friend thought otherwise.

They traveled a few hours forcing the animals until they were sure no one followed them.

The gale died down a little before dawn, enough to let them move but the windy and blinding snow forced them to walk, pulling the horses; an impossible task if not for Jean. Even Mikasa acknowledged his impressive ability, much to his delight. With a better control over the horses, the next problem was the hazards of walking in a very thick layer of snow with nearly no visibility. Armin started to believe in omens, goddess and faith, because Sasha had grown in the mountains and took the vanguard, knowing better than them how to avoid unnecessary dangers. The girl was easy-going and when the winds stopped blowing, she talked and offered them food; none of them guessed where o how she had dried meat, but she had.

Nevertheless, the snow, the wind and the night were bad news and Mikasa had hated to travel in this kind of weather since her training days, and now she felt responsible for two unknown people and growled in frustration, loud enough for Armin to hear. He neared the distance watching her, or as much as the snow allowed him; she had reasons to be tense and distressed but he sensed something more. Of course, when he asked her, she denied something else was happening and tapped her horse, moving away.

They were going down the road when it forked in two directions, Mikasa wanted to go left but Jean insisted they should go right.

“Sorry, Rose doesn’t want us to go that way.” Jean argued with her.

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t blame the messenger. I’m telling you what I see.” He looked above, at the sky.

“I don’t care about cheap magic tricks, goddess or twinkle stars. The path to the left is shorter.”

“Yes but more dangerous, the slope accentuates the curves of the mountain.” Sasha said but Jean and Mikasa weren’t arguing about safety. Armin made a gesture for her to wait.

“Rose…” Jean was about to start but Mikasa turned away ending the conversation.

“I don’t have time for children’s stories.”

When her short temper kicked, Mikasa never listened; Armin knew better and considered her real reason, finding Eren. If someone talked about any other omen, the woman knight would explode. The burning sensation in her wrist and an unusual dizziness only aggravated her disquietude. Taking her horse rein, she moved to the left road with Sasha.

“Damn, she’s stubborn as hell.” Jean told to the sky as if he talked with someone invisible.

Armin, accustomed to the perplexity his friend caused, spoke with Jean, trying to ease the situation. “She’s worried about our friend.” Another concern covered his face but the young knight said no more, still not sure why she was apprehensive and not quite herself.

“I know. All I’m saying is Rose wants her to take another path.”

“… Rose wants her or wants us?”

“I don’t know. I’m not a magician, I told you. But I think is her. Rose sent the Military Police to the tavern, forcing us to move, and now she keeps showing the path to the right as the only option.”

“How are you so sure?”

“I can’t exactly read the stars… I just see what I see. Sorry, but I can’t explain.”

Armin sighed, if Rose wanted her to do something, well, the goddess had to try harder.

If goddesses still existed, perhaps Rose would be stubborn as Mikasa. Perhaps she would try harder.

Mikasa’s horse tensed and she felt its increasing panic before the ground trembled beneath their feet. They heard the crunching sound of the snap and crash of branches and a rapid flow of snow down the mountainside in front of them, blocking the road. A long time passed before the snow mist faded. Sasha’s arm securing Mikasa’s waist; the brunette had stopped the knight in the last minute, avoiding a terrifying outcome and saving her for the second time. Suddenly the storm and winds ended and Jean calmed the horses.

With no winds or snow falling, the rising suns showed the only remaining path.

“I told you, Rose want us to go the other way.”

An increasing daylight surrounded them and Jean gulped watching the defiant fire in her eyes. Mikasa wasn’t pleased with the result, but she didn’t want to lose more time, so she resumed her steps in the other direction. Armin listened to her cursing under her breath, using a very colorful vocabulary.

If the goddess still existed, Armin wished Rose had more forbearance than Mikasa.

Two and half hours later, Armin noticed a tiny red trail behind them and his eyes searched for Mikasa, landing in her silhouette the moment she fell from her horse, banging her head. 

 

 

**iv. Respice, adspice, prospice**

* * *

 

> _“Levi!” She cried, rushing her steps to find him._
> 
> _The acrid smell of death hit her senses and she groped her chest, trying to ease the rambling of her heart. Not long ago she visited the same place holding his hand and dreaming with a future at his side. Corpses, destruction, ashes were all what she could see, and instead of the immaculate walls of the temple, a layer of blood. She clung to the sword, his sword, as she clung to her hope. Her white and pink tunic under the red cloak was covering with blood, soot, and dirt; as habit, she thought he would nag at her and probably carry her to avoid more dirtiness. The thoughts added weight to her heart and Mikasa prayed again for his safety._
> 
> _Then she saw him._
> 
> _His white uniform covered in red and his usually pale skin, almost translucent. She ran and knelt before him, holding him tight in her arms. For the first time since they met, she felt him frail and weak with the light in his eyes fading, despite that, as soon as he saw her, his expression softened and light reflected in his eyes. A lonely tear ran through his face mixing with hers. She stroked his hair and filled his face with little and devoted kisses._
> 
> _“I knew you’d come.”_
> 
> _“Always, remember?”_
> 
> _His hand removed the usual, rebel lock over face, and as he locked their gazes, the man drank in the deep oasis of her eyes._
> 
> _“Mikasa…”_
> 
> _“Don’t…” Her voice waived and she closed her eyes, resting her forehead against his._
> 
> _“Mikasa…” The plea in his voice sent a shiver and squeezed her heart._
> 
> _“I know.” She whispered, incapable to let him go, but she looked at his eyes as he wished._
> 
> _With a strength that she never thought she had, Mikasa lifted her face, smiled at him, and kissed him softly. For a few_ — _and too short_ — _minutes she muttered loving words, until the hand of the man she loved stopped the caressing touch on her face, falling lifeless at her side._
> 
> _She didn’t notice the dark clouds, nor she felt the coldest air and the snow falling around her. All that ever mattered in her life rested in her arms, unable to listen to her cry and comfort her pain, unable to share the life they dreamed or the promises they made._
> 
> _Her shoulders slumped and slow, quiet sobs convulsed her small frame._

 

 

***

 

 

She woke up disoriented, panting and with her shirt soaked with sweat. Tears kept falling and her heart hammering.

It took her awhile to realize she had a dream. Not any dream, it was the energy-drained nightmare she had had her entire life. The one she barely remembered except for the anxiety and pain in her heart; the one with a man dying in her arms. Mikasa covered her face and squeezed her eyes, trying —and failing— to forget; for the first time in a long time, she recalled images, but the grief overwhelmed her. Her body felt heavy and her tiredness aggravated her despair; Mikasa didn’t want to sleep, too afraid of dreaming again but too tired to think straight or fight her fatigue.

Who was he?

Why she felt his death as her own?

Why her heart ached if she didn’t know him?

Usually she put aside her thoughts, but the more she tried, the more she thought about him —whoever he was. With the reminiscence of the dream, her wrist ached, burning her. Flashes of the dream showed in her head, but they were blurry and she tried to avoid deeper thoughts and unwanted feelings. The unsettling sensation in her stomach told her, she knew him. A face popped up when Mikasa closed her eyes but she dismissed the idea, annoyed and still sad; yet her stubbornness prevailed and she wiped her tears and took off her bandage, feeling the mark. It seemed darker than usual, ached more than usual, _everything was more than usual_. The realization of her weakness sickened her and she inhaled and exhaled until her heart rhythm began to settle.

When Mikasa recomposed and moved to sit up, her head swirled and an unexpected pang in her abdomen made her gasp. It finally hit her, she wasn’t in her quarters and that place wasn’t the castle.

“Eren…”

She remembered the storm, the forest and a deep pain in her abdomen before the bang in her head. Maybe Armin found shelter, but the absence of her blond friend worsened her uneasiness and resting her body in her hands, Mikasa sat on the bed. Her eyes examined the room. The light didn’t help her, still, the candle showed a neat, organized and extremely cleaned place, almost too cozy for a cabin.

The swing of the door claimed her attention and she didn’t believe her eyes, until he spoke.

“You’re awake.” Levi moved to her side and checked her head, his touch softened when she frowned; Mikasa realized she had bandages on her head. “Rest. You lost a lot of blood, Mikasa.”

“Levi?” She asked more to herself than him; not that she needed an answer, or because she didn’t remember him. Mikasa asked to be sure she wasn’t dreaming.

He laid her back on the pillows and remained silent, waiting for her, or so she thought. Her eyes sent darts in his direction and she jerked away, grimacing at his touch.

“Where’s Armin?” Her voice sounded husky and whispered.

“They’re fine, resting as you should.” She tried to speak again and he didn’t let her. “Brat, you need to rest. We'll talk when you feel better.”

Mikasa heard him as her eyes were closing; too tired to fight with him and guessing he wasn’t real. He was right; her body needed rest and her heart a moment of peace. She dreamt again, not with the death of an unknown man. She dreamt with her training years and he was there, but the black armor they wore as Dark Knights was pristine white and instead of crying, she was happy and he made her laugh. 

**Author's Note:**

> For RivaMika Jam, AU Edition  
> Prompt by chewykookie


End file.
